“Too often, when I look into my heart, all I see is a lot of me. There’s not much room there for anyone else, and that’s my real problem.” These were words spoken at the meeting of a 12-step fellowship not too long ago. I wrote them down (with permission) because they expressed so perfectly the problem that I and many others face. We do not have to be in 12-step recovery, or even a disciple of Christ, to recognize how easy it is to get wrapped up in oneself.
Life’s normal struggles can lead each of us into self-obsession. Even in the best of times, everyday needs for food, clothing, shelter, and security can take up a lot of our attention and effort. If we do not remember to turn our attention outward, away from our personal needs, we can easily forget that we are beings who must love in order to survive. For a Christian, the pursuit of everyday needs is just a step toward the final goal of living like Jesus Christ, who eventually gave everything for God and neighbor.
In the Ash Wednesday Gospel reading, Jesus speaks of three actions that help keep one’s attention turned outward, away from the self. Almsgiving is the most fundamental. Jesus and his fellow Jews believed, as the Catholic church continues to teach, that God made the world’s good things for the benefit of everyone. The impoverishment of family, friends, and neighbors was a matter of deep shame, and so Jews of the ancient world remained attentive for opportunities to share their wealth. Their vigilance was effective; one Roman emperor even wrote that, although cities everywhere teemed with beggars, he had never seen a Jewish person among them. Almsgiving remains today an effective means of opening our hearts to our brothers and sisters.
If almsgiving turns the heart toward neighbor, then prayer turns it toward God. The deepest prayer is simply paying attention to God, contemplating divine glory wherever it might appear. Even verbal and petitionary prayer focus the heart outward, reminding us that the things for which we strive are actually gifts from a loving God.
Fasting includes elements of attention to others and God. In the ancient world, restraining oneself during lean times allowed there to be enough food for family and neighbors. More importantly, fasting can remind us that life is about more than our concern for material things. As Jesus reminds us, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides” (Mt 6:33). Fasting is not about missing meals; it is about finding deeper ways to be fed.
Christ calls each Christian away from a life centered on self to a life centered on God and neighbor. Lent is the time to recommit to our response. Our hearts may be heavy with a lot of self-centered routines and expectations. Almsgiving, prayer, and fasting each give us a way to turn our attention back where it belongs – outward, to God and neighbor, heaven and earth. Only then will we, like the first disciples before us, be ready to recognize Christ when he surprises us as risen Lord.