James Tissot (Nantes, France, 1836–1902, Chenecey–Buillon, France). "Two or Three Gathered in my Name," Brooklyn Museum.
"Jesus said to his disciples: 'If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.'"
—Matthew 18:15
When I first read today's Gospel, I thought Jesus was teaching conflict resolution. But the more I sat with it, the more I realized He is molding us at an earlier stage. Before there can be forgiveness, someone has to take the first step, which is often the hardest step of all.
The poet David Whyte writes:
Start close in,
don't take the second step or the third,
start with the first thing close in,
the step you don't want to take.
Jesus tells us exactly what that first step looks like.
To appreciate this passage, it helps to remember that it appears immediately after the Parable of the Lost Sheep and before Jesus tells Peter we must forgive "not seven times, but seventy-seven times." This entire chapter has one central theme: How do we guide others with mercy?
Why should we go privately to our offender? I think this is the most beautiful part of the reading. If our goal is to help them, we tell only them. Jesus's instruction protects the dignity of the offender as well as the accuser.
And why, indeed, is it assumed the accuser is correct?
Imagine three possibilities.
Case 1 The offender realizes, "I was wrong."
Case 2 The offender explains something the offended person misunderstood. Now the accuser realizes, "I interpreted this incorrectly."
Case 3 If both parties still disagree, wise people help discern what happened. This process protects both the accused and the accuser from self-deception.
It can seem a bit harsh when Jesus says, "Treat him as a Gentile or tax collector.” But remember how Jesus was with the Gentiles: He healed them, praised their faith, and welcomed them. And he ate with the tax collectors and even called on one to be an apostle.
Many modern approaches to restorative justice embody the principles that Jesus articulated here in this reading 2,000 years ago. Restorative justice asks, “Who has been hurt, what needs to be repaired, how can relationships be restored, and how can trust be rebuilt?”
Perhaps the best-known example is the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa after apartheid. Instead of imprisoning everyone involved, the commission sought truth, accountability, and, where possible, reconciliation. The process was imperfect, but it reflected the conviction that lasting peace requires more than punishment. How successful have these efforts been?
History teaches us that reconciliation is never simple. Nations struggle to heal after decades of injustice. Yet every lasting effort at reconciliation begins the same way: that someone is willing to take the first step toward truth.
I read the daily entry from a small book on Personal and Spiritual Growth. For a given day I ALWAYS find what I need. Today, on Aug 12, the “thought for the day” is “Our unfair judgments of others are almost always based on too little information.”
Jesus isn't asking us to solve every broken relationship in our lives. He simply asks us to begin. Is there one person with whom I've allowed distance to grow? One phone call I've postponed? One conversation I've avoided? As David Whyte reminds us, "Start close in... the step you don't want to take." I think that is the place where Jesus is already waiting for me.
Diana Murray is a member of the C21 Center's Pray It Forward community. She offered the above reflection on Wednesday, August 12, 2026. It is shared with her permission.