There’s no road map to raising kids in the Catholic faith...
but there are many God winks, inspired ideas, and time-tested family practices that can help guide us along the way. I’m sharing some lessons I’ve learned as a mother of four, and passing on the parental graces offered by others as we all make our way through this sacramental journey called parenthood.
Your home is your domestic church. Make it easy to find God inside your house. Maybe it's a simple cross on the wall, palms from a past Palm Sunday on the mantel, or rosary beads nestled on a side table. Maybe it’s an image or statue of Jesus, the Holy Family, the Blessed Mother, your favorite saint, or a picture of your family celebrating a sacramental milestone. Little ones notice everything, and all of these reminders are light in the eyes of a child.
Introduce the Sign of the Cross as early as possible. Teach your children to recite this prayer and practice, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen,” touching their forehead, their chest, and their shoulders in sequence. They will carry this blessing with them throughout their life, reminding them of the Holy Trinity and God’s love. Children especially like using holy water to bless themselves with the Sign of the Cross. The good news is that you don’t have to wait to go to church on Sunday to have holy water on hand. You can go to your church anytime and bring it home. A fun tip: there are little holy water fonts you can purchase online that adhere to a wall in a hallway, bedroom, or classroom.
Go to Mass, join a parish, and visit the church often, and not just on Sundays. Try to make it to Sunday Mass every week, and make it a big deal for your family. Maybe the kids dress up in their Sunday best and sport their favorite shoes. The lure of donuts promised after Mass is always a plus. Consider joining a local parish and becoming part of that Catholic community. Participate in parish events and meet other parents and caregives, children, and an extended family of parishioners. You might consider volunteering or teaching religious education. Additionally, there's always a reason to stop by the church, even if it is to just say hi to Jesus or sit on the church steps and simply talk or eat ice cream. Let the church be your home away from home, a natural place where you and your family run.
Prayer matters. Teach your young ones a couple of prayers that they can recite by memory, then pray in the morning before breakfast and at night before bed. Pray in the car, even if it's a short trip. Pray when you pass a church. Pray when something good happens, and pray when something bad happens. Pray for family members, friends, strangers, and of course, animals. Go on prayer walks, write prayers, sing prayers, or grow a prayer garden. Pray with your hands, pray on your knees, pray on your feet. Just pray often, often enough so that they realize prayer is an ongoing, everyday conversation with God.
Gift your children rosary beads and pray the Rosary. Share this sacred prayer practice, using prayer and rosary beads to connect children with the life and love of Jesus and the Blessed Mother for a lifetime. Holding each bead, they will learn the connection between the prayers and Mysteries over time. Encourage them to take their rosary beads with them, in their knapsack, sports bag, and wherever they go. It’s a beautiful reminder that God is with them, and so is their other mother, the Blessed Mother. Additionally, praying the Rosary as a family has lasting benefits, reminding children that Jesus is the center of their family.
Liturgical celebrations are at the core of family traditions and sacred memories. Create or practice special family faith traditions for Lent, Easter, Advent, and Christmas. Maybe it’s baking a King Cake for Mardi Gras, creating a special menu for the family for Fridays during Lent, assembling special Easter baskets that radiate faith, making an Advent wreath, opening the daily doors of an Advent calendar, or dreaming up new ways to celebrate Jesus’ birthday, like putting balloons on the Christmas tree on Christmas Day. Whatever you do, have fun!
Bring God into family celebrations, like birthdays and anniversaries. Consider having your child adopt a birthday, named after a saint that you help them to choose. Learn about the saint, and every birthday, the saint can pen a card or some joyful birthday wishes. There’s something powerful about having that saint show up in their life, year after year. Our oldest daughter's birthday saint was St. Dymphna, and she prays to her to this day, thirty years later. Another idea to consider—long after you celebrate your child’s Baptism, First Communion, and Confirmation, continue to acknowledge the anniversary dates of each sacrament year in and year out. And don’t forget to celebrate your own wedding anniversary as a family, too. Make all of these everyday occasions sacramental.
Be your child's faith storyteller. Through your own personal stories, books, movies, music, actions, and words, help them see God at work in their lives and in the lives of others. Teach them how to find God in their own imaginations. Introduce God-talk early and often. Make God human to them. Ask them to explore—where do they see God, what does God look like, how would they draw God? Turn your empty cardboard boxes into backyard confessionals, ironing boards into altars, and help them play church so that they will live church.
Give, and model ways to give back to others. Our faith teaches us so much about loving and caring for our neighbors, friends, and strangers. What does giving look like in the eyes of a child? Have a conversation about need with your children and who you might be able to help or thank in your own community. Respond to a call to action, a lived faith, and a way for your children to see their community as an extension of God in the world. It can be as simple as baking cookies for a neighbor or sending a gratitude card to first responders. A simple act of kindness lives on in a person's heart.
Finally, when it comes to raising your children in the faith, trust in yourself. God gifted you the greatest blessing: your children. He knew what he was doing. He knows you know what you're doing. Trust in God, and remember we are all in this together.
Karen Kiefer is the Director of the C21 Center. The Center's latest initiative invites Catholic parishes in the New England area to join the growing Children's Ministry Partnership (CMP) community! Receive the gift of free creative children's ministry resources to nurture each child's lifelong relationship with God and the Church.