Jefferson Crowther, father of 9/11 'man in the red bandanna,' dies at 73; wake Monday

UPPER NYACK - Jefferson Crowther, the father of 9/11 hero Welles Crowther, known as "the man in the red bandanna," died Feb. 13. He was 73.

The cause was prostate cancer, said Alison Crowther, his wife of 47 years. He is also survived by his daughters, Honor Fagan and Paige Charbonneau, and their families.

Jeff and Alison Crowther repeatedly shared their son's story of heroism on Sept. 11, 2001, to inspire leadership and character development. They helped establish the Red Bandanna Project and a family foundation, the Welles Remy Crowther Charitable Trust, toward that mission.

"He was a great protector,"  Alison Crowther said. "He was always taking care of me and our family, a wonderful father and husband. He was a gentleman with a wonderful sense of humor, which is what attracted me to him. He was very funny." 

A wake will be held from 4-8 p.m.Monday, Feb. 18, at Hannemann Funeral Home, 88 S. Broadway, Nyack. Empire Hook & Ladder will hold a firematic service at 7 p.m. at the funeral home. A memorial service takes place at 11 a.m. Friday, Feb. 22, at Grace Episcopal Church, 130 First Ave., Nyack.

A father's inspiration

Jeff Crowther was his son's inspiration for joining the fire service that provided the training to save so many during the 2001 terrorist attacks, and for carrying the red bandanna that came to symbolize his heroism.

Welles had joined his father as a volunteer firefighter at Upper Nyack's Empire Hook and Ladder Company No. 1.

The kerchief tradition was established when Welles was just 7. One day before church, Welles asked if he could have a handkerchief like the one his father had, a white pocket square in his coat pocket.

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The elder Crowther came back with a pocket square, but also with a red bandanna. He pointed to the white one: “That’s for show,” he said. Then, pointing to the red bandanna, he said: “This is for blow, to blow your nose.”

From that day on, Welles was never without his red bandanna. (Jeff preferred a blue bandanna.)

On Sept. 11, as the World Trade Center's South Tower filled with smoke and fire, Welles, who worked as an equities trader on the 104th floor, covered his face with a red bandanna as he led others through smoke and fire, and down the only working stairwell. He is credited with saving the lives of at least 10 people. The last anyone saw of him, he was preparing to rush back up that staircase. His body was eventually found at the FDNY command center in the South Tower lobby, with the remains of other firefighters.

Jeff Crowther later said when he was going through Welles' belongings after his death, he found an application for the FDNY.

A bond

ESPN reporter Tom Rinaldi got to know Jeff and Alison Crowther when he wrote “The Man in the Red Bandanna,” a 13-minute TV piece for ESPN about Welles. Rinaldi then expanded it into a 2016 book of the same name.

Rinaldi said Jeff Crowther and his son had “the bond we as fathers all hope for.”

“We dream that two things happen: That, as they age, they make us proud, and that they grow from son to friend. And both those things happened between Jefferson and Welles,” Rinaldi said.

Boston College, Welles' alma mater, would embrace his  legacy with an annual Red Bandanna football game. Rinaldi said Jeff’s locker room visits at those games meant the world to him.

“Seeing Jeff talking to those young men, there is such joy and pride in his voice,” Rinaldi said. “I think those were some of the richest, greatest moments in his life, after having lost Welles, because I think he felt like he was looking at other young men that he hoped would be like his son, would embody his values, would be living, breathing reflections of his only son.”

Show of strength

Jeff Crowther did not hide his pain from the loss of his son. 

"He said things that people remember to this day, like: 'I still weep every day for my son. I just miss the pleasure of his company.' That hits everyone,” Rinaldi said.

Rinaldi also recalls how Crowther didn’t hold back his tears; he let them flow.

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“I think of the courage it took for Jeff to share his emotion, to share the pain and loss with the world," he said. "There are so many times where, as fathers, as men, we're told that we need to be invulnerable, and never to show sorrow and grief let alone share that grief in such a raw, powerful and enduring way. And he did that.”

But Rinaldi said Crowther was by no means a broken man.

“He was a man who continued to be a great father to his daughters and then a grandfather to his grandchildren. He continued to embrace life. He had a tremendous sense of humor. He had great sports passions. He continued his life even though there was this enormous hole in his heart. If that's not strength, I don't know what is.”

Early life

Jefferson Crowther was born Aug. 30, 1945, weeks after the end of World War II.

He grew up in White Plains, the son of Florence and Bosley Crowther. His father was film critic for The New York Times from 1940 to 1967. His mother was influential in creating Ridgeway Elementary School in the growing suburb.

Crowther graduated from The George School, a Quaker prep school in Pennsylvania, and earned a business degree from New York University. He served in the U.S. Navy, and was later a member of American Legion Post 310 in Nyack. 

He went into banking in Manhattan, where he worked for Chemical Bank, Bank of New York, US Trust and, finally, Sterling National. He retired July 31, 2018. He had been in struggling health for years, his wife said, from metastatic prostate cancer.

The couple, who met on a blind date on Sept. 11, 1968 — an anniversary that would come to mean something very different 33 years later — married on May 1, 1971. They first lived in Hastings-on-Hudson, where he became a Manhattan banker and she was a research assistant at Rockefeller University. They would eventually move to Chappaqua, Pomona and then to Upper Nyack.

A sense of duty

Crowther joined Upper Nyack's Empire Hook and Ladder Company No. 1 in November 1985. He would serve as the company's treasurer and chaplain.

"He was the tillerman on the truck," his wife said, of the firefighter who steers the back of the long ladder truck. "It was a huge responsibility."

He had grown up around tillermen of a different sort, sailing the Long Island Sound and off Martha's Vineyard, where his family spent summers.

"He wanted to be buried in his Empire Hook and Ladder uniform," his wife said. "And his his grandson, Beckett Jefferson Fagan, who is named for him, made a little friendship bracelet for his grandfather. He wore it till the moment he died."

The family is asking for donations in Jefferson Crowther's memory be made to the Welles Remy Crowther Charitable Trust, P.O. Box 780, Nyack, NY 10960.