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April 29, 2005

Thefacebook's Best and Worst Groups

James Girvin

      Ah, Thefacebook—what an invention. Where else can you measure your popularity, find out your friends' birthdates, hear about parties around campus, and send messages all at the same time? On top of this, there are so many groups to join in order to let others know your interests. I decided it'd be a good idea for someone to sit down and critique the various groups available to join on Thefacebook. And since I have nothing better to do, I took it upon myself to do so. So let's check out some of the best and worst groups around on Thefacebook.

The Patriot.
      Definitely the best one out there. I'm not biased. I swear.

The College Democrats of Boston College.
      This is the only group where you can find more blue than the Smurf Fan Club. Is there a Smurf Fan Club? There should be.

The Awesomely Irish Society.
      Now is this group really necessary? I mean, I'm pasty and whiter than a sheet…I don't need a facebook group to verify that.

The Observer.
      One of their lines in the group description is, "Oh, by the way, Bush won, so go cry in your hemp tea you liberal hippies." Good one. Seriously. Conservatives are definitely at the top of their game when they're stereotyping people.

Boys are Stupid. Throw Rocks at them.
      I knew there was a reason that girl beamed me in the head the other day.

He's a Ghost and He Writes To Us! Ghostwriter!
      I left this blank for as long as possible in the hopes that Mr. Writer, himself, would have filled it in with his own description of the group. He never showed up.

Boycott France.
      My favorite part of this group is where they list all of the French-owned companies and brands, telling its members not to buy anything from them. Hey, what do you know—Black Bush is on there. Man, Republicans love the guy when he's white, but as soon as he happens to be another color…

Hugh Hefner's Top 25.
      Worst. Club. Ever. Why is that? It wouldn't let me join and I'm bitter.

I Want the U!
      This is a group dedicated to bringing ESPNU (ESPN's new channel, which only shows college sporting events) to Boston College. Wow, it has 118 members! I bet this group has a legitimate chance of convincing BC's administration to purchase this new channel. I mean, sure, a school-wide referendum didn't seem to change BC's mind on other things, but this one has a real shot.

      So there it is: an incomplete list of random facebook groups made up by a biased author. Aren't you happy you spent time reading this? If these groups interest you, I have one more for you. It's called "The People Who Like To Join Groups." It's my group. Yes, I just did a shameless plug. Maybe I'll make a facebook group about that too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to check my friends' recently updated profiles.

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