Volume II, Number 4 Front Page
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April 29, 2005

Oops! She's Done It Again!

John Hellman

      After a brief hiatus following the swarm of media covering her wedding to dancer Kevin Federline, Britney is back in the spotlight once again.

      Is her new album, The Original Doll, buzzing with rumors of potentially being her first Grammy-winning masterpiece? Or has her new reality TV show, which is scheduled to debut on May 17th, already been hailed as more entertaining than Jessica Simpson's faux pas of a show, Newlyweds?

      Unfortunately for mega Britney fans like me, neither of these is true. So what brings all of this attention to our favorite pop princess?

      Britney Spears is pregnant.

      Despite being the stepmother of Kevin's two children from his previous get-together with actress Shar Jackson, Britney will now be the mother of a baby girl. What does this mean for her illustrious career? No more racy music videos like "Toxic" or "I'm A Slave 4 U"? No more lesbian lip-locking with Madonna? Only time will tell if Britney transforms into the self-proclaimed MILF that she claims she will be.

      All right . . . so you may be wondering why an article about Britney Spears' pregnancy is in The Patriot. Well, besides releasing numerous multi-platinum albums and tantalizing our senses with her sexual music videos, there is another part of Britney's existence that is worth noting. No, this has nothing to do with the endless rumors surrounding her breasts. I believe that Britney's moral and political beliefs should be given some thought. After all, we know celebrities like Madonna and Bruce Springsteen are devout Democrats, and others like Toby Keith are Republican Party members.

      But what about Britney?

      Well, remember back in the year 2000, when she was dating former N*SYNC hottie Justin Timberlake? According to Salon.com, she issued a public statement saying, "I hope I don't make a mistake and manage to remain a virgin." Her spokesperson even stated that Britney was a devout Christian and was completely against premarital sex. Well, we all know how that turned out.

      Fast-forward to early January, 2004. Britney Spears gets married in Las Vegas to childhood friend Jason Alexander! The marriage was annulled 55 hours later. However, the most interesting part of this is that in a statement to MTV, she said, "I do believe in the sanctity of marriage, I totally do." Fast-forward to September 4, 2004, during an interview with right-wing pundit Tucker Carlson. When asked about the political activism of other celebrities, Britney stated that, "I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes, and we should just support that." However, when asked to perform at the Republican National Convention, many different conservative groups across the country assailed the idea.

      I just really hope more conservatives are like Britney Spears. Her consistent and informed beliefs should be admired by everyone.

Front Page (April 29, 2005)

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